Okay okay okay WANDS

YEAH.

In Tarot-Based Naming Alerts, Ace of Wands is a beer. That seems more like a Cups or Pentacles thing, but I am not the beerthority. I have spent five minutes of my life that I won’t get back looking for either of those beers on Google, to no avail, and I don’t understand the world any more.

The cherry Manischevitz might have a little to do with that.

In most decks, except the ones that involve just wands or dragons or literary scenes, this is the final iteration of Disembodied Cloud Hand, our loyal companion on this journey.  Other numeric cards may come and go, but you, Disembodied Cloud Hand, remain, except when you’re replaced by a fox for some reason.

The wand DCH offers is reasonably dicklike in shape, and has smaller branches and leaves coming out of it in a way that dicks hopefully do not, like, see a medical professional if this card resembles any part of your anatomy. Since the wand clearly has no root system, either it was cut after it branched, there’s weird magic shit happening (clearly the intended meaning) or, I don’t know, hydroponics? That thing orchids do? I’ve had onions sprout while not attached to things, but I guess those are roots? I don’t really agriculture. When there’s a background, it’s generally hills and a castle.

The Wikipedia entry on this card says that “Tarot establishes this much sought after connection between ‘self’ and ‘other’ akin to the famous ‘I-Thou’ relation in Martin Buber’s metaphysics,” which is a thing we know now.

If you’ve been reading this blog, you can probably guess the simplified meaning: new beginnings in fire, like relationships or creative endeavors, and all the other meanings go along pretty well. The Ace of Wands is about inspiration, creativity, new relationship energy, growth and boldness and saying fuck it, I’m gonna sell everything and move to California to start the Bee Gees cover band that the world needs.

Sometimes, this is great. Sometimes, it means you end up living in Fresno with a roommate who doesn’t let you keep eggs in the fridge because they have vibrations of sterility. You should probably give it some thought.

The Two of Wands features a person looking off into the distance between two other sprouting wands, though these are less phallic and also are in the ground, in obedience to some kind of logic. (They’re growing from castle walls, which the person is standing on, but maybe there are offscreen planters.) The person may be holding onto the left wand and is generally holding a globe in their right hand. In the distance are…distancey things, mountains and trees and either an ocean or a big lake.

The Two is the “yeah, you legit could go places,” to the Ace’s “I have DREAMS, MAAAAAN!”. It’s about potential for real growth in creative stuff and/or relationships: this person is clearly looking off into the unexplored yonderness, but they also have a globe, which indicates some damn idea where they’re going. This is the card where you actually sit down and plan some shit, like, do you need a passport? Maybe you should talk about relationship models with the Hottest Person ever? What is your performance art actually going to be about, and do you have a source for the ducks?

It’s not, like, Entirely Sensible Planning, in the sense of Pentacles–we’re still in Wands, so what’s being contemplated is a step or five outside the normal routine–but it’s taking the inspiration of the Ace and seeing what you can actually do with it once you leave your own head. Maybe you should go to California, but, you know, sign up with a temp agency and screen your roommates first.